Where the road ends

People talk to me like they know, but how can they know. They haven't walked 600 miles in my shoes. Don't tell me you know until your feet are blistered, your legs are sore, you are gasping dry, burning air, and your throat is parched and splintered. Don't tell me you've been there or that you get it because you DON'T. Maybe it's because my shoes are too big for your broken, bare feet, or maybe my shoes are just too small. But in reality the destination matters more than the shoes. In fact, I don't even want you touching my shoes...They are far too precious to me. My physics teacher once said that distance can only increase or stay still. How do you know if you don't try? SCREW PHYSICS! I live every day of my life like it is my last, because I don't know if I'm just going to drop dead one day, or find myself sleep walking on the freeway. I give life my soul, and then some. I just take one more step on ice and hope that it doesn't break and then another. I walk across the desert, one more step, one more step, one more step, and you know what, I have seen more and felt more because I try. Walk with me through the desert, pay no heed to the buzzards circling overhead, mocking you and telling you to that you will die. So what, I will die, one day, but they don't know that, so they just keep squawking. I have a will and my will says I will not die here! They say my fate is sealed, it's not. my fate is my own, and if you want to give into torment and collapse on the ground, don't worry, I'll bring back some water for you, because I know that there is an oasis somewhere ahead. somewhere. A pool of cold water and sweet nectarines. Then I can take a bath and finally, finally, wash away all of the sweat, grime, and blood, because tears and blood are the same to me and to anyone who has ever truly lived. So take one more step in your own shoes, don't use mine. I walk until I am pressing my cheek against the sun and can go no further. I block it's brutal glare as I stare at pinholes of light above me, coming from the floor of heaven. I ask them why they are so cruel and where the promised bath was, and the nectarines. If this is to be my fate, to sit here and die alone, then I don't want any part of it. I sit on the burning asphalt and stare behind me. The road is vacant. Of corse it is. Why would anyone follow my bubbling trail of rubber from my shoes. I listen to the buzzards laugh at me telling me that I am doomed. SO please don't tell me you know, and get your own shoes.

school

A clock ticks on the wall as students sweat over dull pencils, that walk on paper and leave lines. The teachers roll over lessons that seem to have no purpose in life. The students move from class to class like shift work. Taking tests and drooling over the wrong answers. Some call it prison, but I believe that it unlocks the imagination and allows you to learn.

I remember

I remember the soft crunch of snow when I walked to school,
I remember when my mother told me how good I was as a child,
I remember when I realized that she was lying in order to keep me sane,
I remember everything since I was four,
I remember every minute of every day,
I remember you and me and how we broke up,
I remember crying in my room for hours,
I remember how you moved away,
I remember wondering why your dad needed to get a new job in another state,
I remember being in the state of denial as I continued to wait for you, even when you never came,
I remember how cold my hand was without you to warm it,
I remember how I felt then and I laugh about it now,
I remember asking myself how I got here as I tripped on stage,
I remember that reason being the first time I met you,
I remember everything I want to forget,
I remember you...

Deserter

My parents said I was just an accident waiting to happen. It kind of made me feel run down and exhausted.

 

spider bites and ice cubes

Your bite is poison,
it makes my heart race,
I feel like I am rising to heaven,
only to land in hell,
burning up in the stratosphere on the way down,
my ashes scatter around the world,
picked up by jet streams,
or by children who just don't care about the world anymore,
I am drowning in love as it scratches out my heart and,
makes my fire go out,
because the water doesn't care,
it just loves darkness,
and I don't think you care,
that I am living on an iceberg in the middle of the Arctic,
I am glad to be here,
constantly lying in the sun,
I smile at penguins and seals,
as they constantly fight over who is dominant,
because they think that the world is not big enough for the two of them,
if only they had left the ice block and found solid dirt,
where the sun doesn't shine all of the time,
then they would know how big the world really is,
but they are like you, a broken watch,
they think that they have all of the time in the world,
then I need to wind you back up and remind you what you were made to do,
tell me when you know, so I can finally leave you,
and head to the Arctic Ocean,
and find my own ice block,
and play with the seals and penguins.

Falling Pianos

How to love,
save yourself the pain and don't try,
The record of you love is still repeating in my head,
It's scratched and ugly,
but it still catches my attention,
I wish you could eject a record,
I'm looking for the button in my pocket,
to open my head and let you out,
but all I find is lint,
I drop bricks on the ground,
hoping you'll hear and come,
and I can't understand why the sky is still blue,
even after the sun sets,
I feel an emptiness in my heart,
It's bleeding tears in hope that you will call,
as I sit here and watch the phone on the piano bench,
I hit a key or two to take my mind off of you,
soon I make Mozart look bad,
then I realize that the button was never in my pocket,
the music of my soul that pours out of my finger tips,
now my fingers are crying blood,
the phone rings,
but I can't hear it over the sweet melody of the keys.

Dreams and wishes

Who am I,
I live to love,
and I love to learn,
I stretch my wings,
and fly,
I soar,
over canyons and valleys,
and oceans and lakes,
streams and rivers,
and then my house,
as I dream of leaving the nest,
As soon as I grow my wings,
I will do even more.

EMERGING

Emerging services for one thing,
has become a plague to it's muddied
picture and the benefit remains widely
limited when crafted for one group alone.
Everyone has issues, and you qualify.

mask and soul

I wear a mask to hide the pain,
I feel inside,
Or I'll go insane,
I wear my clothes built on lies,
To hold the truth,
I know inside,
I wear my socks built out of love,
A blessing somewhere,
From up above,
I wear some shoes that I have stolen,
Cause' I needed place,
To put my soul in,

Reach for the Skies

My bare feet scrape on broken seashells,
I scrub my eyes with my own tears,
I fell in love with the moon,
only to have it leave me every day,
but to run back to me every night,
we sleep under the many eyes of the stars,
who cry once in a full moon,
their tears glistening for a brief moment,

I have toppled over trees just for fun,
the nests falling to the ground,
crushed under it's own supportive branches,
I throw rocks at birds,
trying to kill two birds with one stone,
because I know what it's like to be free,
and I know what it's like to be a prisoner,
I miss every throw,
but I continue to hope against all odds,
maybe I will eat today,
but I run out of rocks to throw,
and grieve in despair,

I have climbed cliffs,
hoping to reach the top,
not looking down at my past,
but forward to my future,
but once in a while I grab a loose rock,
and slip,
and fall,
I land on my butt,
realizing I had just barley left the ground,
I look up and can't quite see the top through the thick clouds,
This task feels almost impossible,
I get up and climb again,
you don't go anywhere just sitting,
you have to take matters into your own hand,
Climb, fall, repeat.

AMNESIA

I wish that I could just forget,
You,
Her,
And everyone else who has rejected me,
There is no such thing as love,
Only friendship,
Love is just a word,
It doesn't mean anything,
Especially to drunk drivers,
You have proven that already,
And I have no friendship,
All of my friends have been avoiding me,
Maybe they think that I am stupid,
Or that I don't belong,
With you,
Or them,
Of course I would pick them over you anytime,
Now I am sitting on my bed drooling over some depressing book,
Foolishly hoping that you will call,
And I am afraid,
I don't know why,
I hate you,
But I love you,
Even though that is just a word,
But honestly,
I wish that I had never met you,
I wish that I could just forget.

lollipops and dirt

I don't wake up every morning thinking about you,
I don't think of myself as beautiful either,
I don't even think about myself,
Or you,
Or anyone...
To be honest,
I don't live,
And I can't die, cause I'm already dead,
I am chained to this blind hope for freedom,
even though I am dead to the world,
Dead to my family,
Dead to myself,
I don't think about you,
You don't think about me,
But I still feel fear,
I sleep to avoid it,
I don't dream,
But I live nightmares,
They plague my life,
They plague my love,
They plague my hope,
And this plague has killed me.

Rainbows and Depression

The rainbow stretches across the sky,
how could something so sad, like rain, be so happy?
it's like taking physics and brushing it off your shoulder,
rising up through the stratosphere,
You hug the sun,
asking it to warm you,
but it doesn't,
it spits you back down,
you land on your knees,
praying for mercy,
asking for forgiveness,
But it doesn't come,
no one loves you,
no one wants you,
and once you stop telling yourself that it is a lie,
it will be truth,
and your knees will buckle,
and you will eat the dirt,
the only one who understands you,
and you are looked down on,
No one wants to know you,
no one wants to be your friend,
you are an outcast,
the only one beautiful outcast. 

Blog List

OK, lets see, where to start?
-Blogs suck,
-Blogs rent you a mask,
-I love blogs, -No comment-
-Blogs hold your secrets,
-Give you a new name,
-Death trap,
-Entertaining,
-You are ignored,
-You blend in with everyone else,
-You have an alternate digital life, not a real one,
-You are used,
-You are kidnapped(#stolen)
-You are in an airport security check,
-You are a fugitive,
-You are yourself,
-You are someone else,
-You are a king,
-You are a prisoner,
-You are a thief,
-You are a dirty cop,
-You wouldn't understand,
-You aren't me.

Sweat and Blood

A mothers cry in the crisp night,
the echoes never truly finding a place to land,
pull the trigger,
in the darkness a flash,
fight or flight?
you work for you pain through sweat and blood,
to receive a piece of hope,
because you can't find where the stash is,
you see no future,
since your parents died due to that !$#@'n drunk driver,
you have been lost,
a leash tied to a tree,
with a locked chain,
and no key,
or a bird without wings,
being pushed from it's nest for it's first flight,
splat,
the end,
or is it,
we all dream,
the mother,
that kid,
and even the bird,
we all have secretive dreams,
ones that we all envy for ourselves,
sometimes we get lost in them,
but that is what inspires,
love deeper than passion.