AMNESIA

I wish that I could just forget,
You,
Her,
And everyone else who has rejected me,
There is no such thing as love,
Only friendship,
Love is just a word,
It doesn't mean anything,
Especially to drunk drivers,
You have proven that already,
And I have no friendship,
All of my friends have been avoiding me,
Maybe they think that I am stupid,
Or that I don't belong,
With you,
Or them,
Of course I would pick them over you anytime,
Now I am sitting on my bed drooling over some depressing book,
Foolishly hoping that you will call,
And I am afraid,
I don't know why,
I hate you,
But I love you,
Even though that is just a word,
But honestly,
I wish that I had never met you,
I wish that I could just forget.

lollipops and dirt

I don't wake up every morning thinking about you,
I don't think of myself as beautiful either,
I don't even think about myself,
Or you,
Or anyone...
To be honest,
I don't live,
And I can't die, cause I'm already dead,
I am chained to this blind hope for freedom,
even though I am dead to the world,
Dead to my family,
Dead to myself,
I don't think about you,
You don't think about me,
But I still feel fear,
I sleep to avoid it,
I don't dream,
But I live nightmares,
They plague my life,
They plague my love,
They plague my hope,
And this plague has killed me.

Rainbows and Depression

The rainbow stretches across the sky,
how could something so sad, like rain, be so happy?
it's like taking physics and brushing it off your shoulder,
rising up through the stratosphere,
You hug the sun,
asking it to warm you,
but it doesn't,
it spits you back down,
you land on your knees,
praying for mercy,
asking for forgiveness,
But it doesn't come,
no one loves you,
no one wants you,
and once you stop telling yourself that it is a lie,
it will be truth,
and your knees will buckle,
and you will eat the dirt,
the only one who understands you,
and you are looked down on,
No one wants to know you,
no one wants to be your friend,
you are an outcast,
the only one beautiful outcast. 

Blog List

OK, lets see, where to start?
-Blogs suck,
-Blogs rent you a mask,
-I love blogs, -No comment-
-Blogs hold your secrets,
-Give you a new name,
-Death trap,
-Entertaining,
-You are ignored,
-You blend in with everyone else,
-You have an alternate digital life, not a real one,
-You are used,
-You are kidnapped(#stolen)
-You are in an airport security check,
-You are a fugitive,
-You are yourself,
-You are someone else,
-You are a king,
-You are a prisoner,
-You are a thief,
-You are a dirty cop,
-You wouldn't understand,
-You aren't me.

Sweat and Blood

A mothers cry in the crisp night,
the echoes never truly finding a place to land,
pull the trigger,
in the darkness a flash,
fight or flight?
you work for you pain through sweat and blood,
to receive a piece of hope,
because you can't find where the stash is,
you see no future,
since your parents died due to that !$#@'n drunk driver,
you have been lost,
a leash tied to a tree,
with a locked chain,
and no key,
or a bird without wings,
being pushed from it's nest for it's first flight,
splat,
the end,
or is it,
we all dream,
the mother,
that kid,
and even the bird,
we all have secretive dreams,
ones that we all envy for ourselves,
sometimes we get lost in them,
but that is what inspires,
love deeper than passion.

The moon and the ship

A ship on the sea tosses its bow back and forth,

And I haven't figured out how to knock it over,

The moon tells me what to do,

I crash into it again and again,

I feel the splintering wood,

And wonder why,

Why listen to the moon,

Why not obey the stronger light,

That cycling sphere that gives it's light to the moon,

And I didn't understand why I existed,

Or why the sky was blue,

But I knew that it was blue,

Like the book that was tossed into my great depths,

By a boy no older than ten,

Who had parents divorced years ago,

And who has never forgiven himself,

And later jumped off of a cliff into my murky depths,

Just to feel the wind again,

And the rush of being free,

Like the many birds that fall into the sea,

Trying to cross the sea,

Because they are tired,

And overestimated themselves,

And now I feel like the boat,

Beginning to splinter and snap,

And crash into the water,

And I stop,

But it was too late,

I had swallowed the ship whole.

 

RAIN

Diamonds fall from the throne of God,
and splinter on the dirt ridden ground,
Only God can break diamonds without a hammer,
and only God can create diamonds,
Diamonds forged above are more beautiful, and more precious,
than those diamonds that are forged below in the violent trough of the Earth below,
Where the devil makes slaves of lost souls in the lake of brimstone and fire,
and torture those who will never see light,
The diamonds from above glisten in the sun,
and are much more precious than those below,
For the only ones who see the glitter below,
are the ones drowning in the fiery brimstone lake,
Where their cries of agony are captured and reflected in the diamonds surrounding them,
but the ones from above can be enjoyed by everyone who thirsts,
on this Devil's land in the desert,
So diamonds from above are much more precious than those below,
Especially when it comes from the throne of  God above.

Morse Code

-..._.-_-.-. _-.-_ / .._-._/ --_-.--/ ...._._.-_-../,
--_-.--/ ._--_---_-_.._---_-..../ .-._..-_-./ .-._.-_--_.--._.._-../

Dreams and nightmares

If you are running through a meadow,
you will be eaten by wolves,
If you are touring through a cave,
You will be buried alive in a hole,
If you are skipping joyously across a bridge,
You will be beaten by a troll,
If you are walking to your church,
The devil will steal your soul,
No matter what you do,
Nightmares only shall you know.

GLUE

No matter what you do,
No matter where you hide,
Death will come for you,
RIP you from inside,

What I write is true,
But go ahead and try,
Life will burn right through,
So get up and fly,

Get out of the glue,
We all die,
Take off your shoes,
And enjoy the ride.